Meet the Bully Boss
VIVIAN McINERNY
The Oregonian
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Andrea's boss berates her in front of the staff. What part of "now" does Andrea fail to understand? The character in "The Devil Wears Prada," which opens Friday, is fictional, but so-called "bully bosses" are an unfortunate reality, from the concrete canyons of New York City to the genteel small towns of Eastern Oregon.
"There were times when he would scream at me in front of the other people, and call me obscenities. He'd come into the staff lounge and ridicule the clothes I was wearing," says Sharon Forster, a former schoolteacher, of her principal.
These are not just inexperienced managers who make poor decisions. Bully bosses use their positions of power to intimidate and humiliate subordinates
"It's about control. It's what all bullies want: control," says Gary Namie, who runs an anti-bullying consulting firm in Bellingham, Wash. "Despite the mask of bravado, they are tiny, insecure people." The problem already is recognized in Australia, England, Germany, South Africa and Switzerland, where laws protect people from workplace bullying, also called "workplace abuse" or "mobbing." American businesses are beginning to pay attention to the problem because bully bosses cost them money. Work performance of the person targeted suffers, not surprisingly, but so does performance of other workers because morale sinks when office politics and dramas rise. Plus, staff turnover is expensive.
"People don't leave bad companies, they leave bad bosses," says Gail Nicholson, a career counselor in Portland with a master's degree in counseling and psychology. "It's at the top of the list of why people would actually seek me out. That's an important point, how common it is."
Outsiders might think bully bosses simply rid companies of bad employees, but the opposite is true, Namie says.
"Workplace bullies pick on the people who pose a threat to them because they are good at their jobs," says Namie, a founder of The Workplace Bullying & Trauma Institute. Targets are often recognized in their fields, respected by colleagues, well-liked and personable.
It's easy to dismiss targets as thin-skinned or too sensitive to criticism. Namie said that simply is not the case. Targets typically start off determined to rise above the verbal jabs, undermining tactics and gossip. Some try to ignore it. Others fight back. Some try going through the proper channels to report the problem only to discover what Namie, who has a Ph.D. in psychology, knows from research: Bully bosses are good at managing up.
When targets attempt to solve problems, they often encounter retaliation.
Forster recalled the time she jumped the cafeteria line. "Teachers who had only 20 minutes between classes had permission to go to the front of the line," she emphasized. "He pulled me out of line in front of all the students and said, 'Who do you think you are? Do you think you are better than all these students who have waited in line?' It was humiliating."
Bully bosses create a "damned if you do, dammed if you don't" atmosphere that keeps workers on edge and, often, pushes them over the edge. About 70 percent of those targeted leave or lose their jobs. Just as public opinion has shifted on domestic abuse and sexual harassment, Namie believes public opinion is shifting on workplace abuse.
Five states have introduced bills against workplace abuse -- Oregon among them -- and if it passes in one state, others likely will follow.
The Oregon Department of Environmental Quality introduced an anti-mobbing policy in late 2003, which it defines in part as persistent and systematic behavior perpetrated by one employee against another that intimidates, threatens, humiliates or shows hostility.
And Aug. 14-17, Portland State University is bringing back a weeklong seminar for employers called "Emotional Abuse in the Workplace."
"The idea is to bring awareness. We've got to get the word out," says Debra C. Harris, a Ph.D. in school and community health who will conduct the seminar. "We'd like workplace abuse to be as well-known as sexual (harassment)."
Keeping quiet about workplace bullying is part of the problem, Harris noted. The target is usually embarrassed and feels he or she should be able to handle the situation. Harris wants employees to be aware of the phenomenon so they recognize the validity of complaints from employees.
Women bully bosses tend to isolate their targets from others, often using gossip and shunning. Think "Mean Girls" grown up. Male bully bosses more often use the corporate structure to torment targets. "As soon as one target is eliminated . . . they go for the next one," Harris says.
Forster endured the situation for years because she needed the job's medical insurance for her children, and a transfer was not an option in her small town. She took a forced retirement a decade ago because of a medical disability brought on, she feels certain, by the constant stress.
"It was difficult to give up a career and give up my identity (as a teacher). I had huge feeling of tremendous failure. Why couldn't I get along with this individual? What was wrong with me?" she asked.
Years later, one of Forster's former students, Mike Rich, wrote a screenplay. Although the characters, plot and setting differed greatly from reality, Rich introduced Forster at the movie premiere in Portland as the inspiration for the dedicated teacher in "Finding Forrester."
"That validated something in my heart," Forster says of the movie. "It's easy to become insecure and think that you are all alone in this."
Bully Basics
A majority of bullies are women -- 58 percent. Men and women both prefer to bully women.
If you are a target: Stop trying to understand the bully's motive. Focus on his/her behavior. Confront him/her in private -- bullies won't back down in front of an audience -- and specify what behavior is not acceptable. Such as, "I'm sorry you feel angry, but yelling is not productive." Try humor.
If the boss defends a behavior as personal style, give the person a specific and positive example of a time when he or she behaved favorably and heap on praise for that aspect of her style of management.
Some human resource departments complain that they don't hear about bullies until exit interviews. If you go to human resources, focus on the bully's behavior.
Beware: Retaliation usually follows the filing of complaints. Keep records for yourself.
If you see a co-worker being bullied, stand by them immediately after a verbal attack or closed-door session that leaves them obviously beaten. Bully bosses often play a "divide and conquer" game.
Sometimes leaving is your only option.
Source: The Workplace Bullying & Trauma Institute 2003
Helpful Web sites
www.bullybusters.org
www.workdoctor.com
www.workplacebullying.co.uk
www.workplacefairness.org
www.worktrauma.org
What employers should do
Immediately separate the perpetrator from the target. Transfer the target or put them on paid administrative leave until resolved.
Confront the aggressor with consequences for psychological abuse. The employer created the opportunity for the bully to attack: The employer is responsible for resolving the problem. Bullies are repeat offenders. Check human resource department records or discreetly gather information from employees.
Treat stress claims and reports of psychological injury seriously.
Do not compel the target to participate in a dispute-resolution process directly with the perpetrator. It's like expecting a battered wife to enter negotiations with her abusive spouse.
Purge, don't promote, the bully. They're too expensive to keep.
Source: Gary Namie, co-founder of The Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute
Vivian McInerny: 503-294-4076; vmcinerny@news.oregonian.com
