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Comparisons to Other Phenomena
Being bullied at work most closely resembles the experience of being a battered spouse. The abuser inflicts pain when and where he chooses, keeping the target (victim) off balance knowing that violence can happen on his whim but dangling the hope that safety is possible during a period of peace of unknown duration. The target is kept close to the abuser by the nature of the relationship between them -- husband to wife or boss to subordinate or co-worker to co-worker.
The abuse victim doubts him- or herself and engages in too much undeserved self-blame. The abuser exploits her or his power, real or imagined. Witnesses, bystanders, observers, friends and family evolve from denial to acknowledgement that abuse is happening to rationalizing the motives of the abuser and blaming the victim for staying in the toxic relationship with little sympathy for impersonal factors that could explain the apparent inaction by the victim.
We observers who are the most removed from the details of the abusive relationship, acting as society, are the most tolerant of the aggression. The acceptance of violence toward women explains why America is a culture rife with domestic violence and, in fact, a rape culture.
So it is with workplace bullying. From a distance, it's easy and socially acceptable to denigrate bullied individuals. Disparaging comments such as "they are whiners, wimps" are common.
Historically, institutions were slow to respond to domestic violence, preferring to justify inaction or indifference with the reluctance to interfere with "private," ostensibly confidential family matters. Eventually, domestic violence was criminalized because of its impact on public safety. Private abuse became a public concern.
Workplace bullies commmit their acts with impunity today because they satisfy some need for their employers and/or society. No one wants to stop them out of fear or a desire to not interfere with "private," presumably confidential employer matters. However, employers deny employee privacy all the time by monitoring every aspect of work through computer keystroke tracking, video camera surveillance and review of all communications by phone and e-mail. Employers believe these activities are warranted because no employee has a reasonable right to privacy in the very public workplace.
So why should employers enjoy protection for heinous actions undertaken shrouded in secrecy so as not to offend employers?
Domestic Violence is no longer legal. Workplace Bullying should no longer be legal either.
- Read how DV and employer needs are brought together by the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence.